Tick, Tick, Tick

Hotep,

There’s a science to doing time:  “You do the time.  Don’t let the time do you. “I observe cats everyday doing their time.  For general population, doing time could be working in the chow hall or maintaining the floors in the hospital.  There are a variety of janitorial jobs available for inmates in general population, but for death row, doing time isn’t as simple.

The jobs available to death row inmates are limited.  Unlike general population, death row is not a revolving door.  Jobs like the canteen operator and hall janitors have been occupied by the same inmates for years.  So, for most of the death row population doing time comes down to table-top games and watching television, which leads to in-depth discussions that eventually, evolve into debates.  Real talk.

This science of doing time works well for the cats who truly believe they deserve to be here.   In some cases, they may not feel as though they deserve to be on death row.  So a life sentence would be bearable.  Maybe they could get a job in the gym?  Or work in the captain’s office changing coffee filters and running errands.  These jobs help the inmate to do their time without concerning themselves about the remainder of their earthly existence being lived behind this wall.

You may ask yourself: “What death row prisoner wouldn’t be relieved by their death sentence being commuted to life without parole?” And the answer would be me, your MannofStat.  You see, writing, reading and playing basketball has helped me get through some rough patches, throughout this bid.  But nothing, and I mean nothing, can drown out the sound of my life’s clock ticking away.  Every minute.  Every hour.  Tick. Tick. Tick.  I’m a death row prisoner.

I’m not an inmate.  So life without parole doesn’t suit me.  I’m a prisoner.  Despite what you may think there is a difference.  An inmate accepts their punishment and finds a way to be thankful that they’re not in the next man’s shoes.  As long as they’re not facing execution, doing time is a piece of cake.  Na mean?

A prisoner on the other hand, constantly thinks about life on the outside.  A prisoner never forgets taking walks with his moms and the tone of her voice as she advises him about life’s hurdles.  A prisoner never forgets helping his pops repairs the roof of their home.  Or the sound of his instructions while changing the water pump of a diesel engine.  A prisoner will never give up hope and freedom is always his top priority.

Keeping fresh memories of holidays and family get-togethers and continuously yearning for the sweet touch of the woman who loves her Mann.  This is how a prisoner gets through the day, one minute at a time.  Feel me?

The state of North Carolina may refer to me as an inmate, but I assure you, I’ll be a prisoner until true justice is served and I’m living my memories on the other side of the wall.  Ya heard?

Peace,

MannofStat, NP 4 Life

Copyright © 2012 by Leroy Elwood Mann