Old Mann: a real reality

Hotep,


Reality television has officially taken over the small screen. I mean, there's a reality show for anyone who cares to watch them: American Idol, Jersey Shore, Top Model, The Apprentice, The Housewives of Atlanta, Extreme Weight Loss Makeover, Amazing Race, etc, etc, etc. And trust me, that's only scratching the surface of your television screen. Real talk.

Long gone are the days of Sanford and Son, Good Times, The Jeffersons, Three's Company and All in the Family. Now, if the names of Fred Sanford, James Evans, George Jefferson, Jack Tripper and Archie Bunker don't ring a bell, it's probably because this epic grade of television was before your time. I guess I should feel old, huh?


My 43rd birthday is literally days away. Seven years from the half century mark. Some days I'll wake up and it's hard to believe I've been around this long. I thought reaching my 21st year was a major accomplishment. So you can probably imagine how I feel about my upcoming born-day.


I'm a very active soon-to-be 43 year old. I lift weights and do my 'Kunta Kinte Thing' (running) regularly. Just recently I stepped back onto the b-ball court, after a one year hiatus. I feel like I'm 19 years old when I'm running up and down that court, breaking ankles and draining game winning jumpshots. The recognition that comes with it is addictive. Na mean?


Yesterday (7/9/11) I strained my left Achilles tendon, while cutting to the basket. It was a scary moment, indeed. I've never felt anything like it. I heard something pop, on the back-side of my ankle. I turned around to see if I had been kicked. Then I saw no one behind me, but the guard, strapped with a shotgun on the tower. Being kicked went way down on my list of assumptions at that point. Feel me?


I declared a medical emergency, which led to me being chauffeured to the hospital in a wheelchair (Good look Sarge). While rolling up the tunnel, I began to see my life as a reality show. The initial episode would begin with me speaking to the doctor, as he's examining my injury. Of course, the producers might not be fond of my language during this particular episode. I'm grateful for the doctor's favorable prognosis, but he was handling my foot like a steering wheel deprived of power steering. SMH.


The cameras could monitor my everyday interactions and follow my court proceedings. I mean, why not? Controversy is what brought so much attention to the Jersey Shore reality show, right? So, what could be more controversial than death row? Snooki couldn't tell you what it's like to not hear your name during mail call. She can't explain the empty feeling a prisoner endures when his/her visit is cancelled. And, she definitely wouldn't know what it's like to have your appeal denied shortly after your Dunn has been executed. Word is bond!


My physical conditioning is the best it's ever been. So, I rarely feel my actual age, but prison gets old fast. One year or 16 years, prison life just isn't for me. Wisdom is spawned by life's experiences. So, when the youngstas refer to me as “Old Mann,” it's more of a compliment than an insult. I'll wear the “Old Mann” title with pride, but don't ever tell me that I can't do something because I'm old. Believe me, I'll gladly accept that challenge and prove to you that the only thing getting old concerning myself is the concrete and steel that surrounds my existence. Ya heard?


I'm on One,

MannofStat
Copyright © 2011 by Leroy Elwood Mann